PARENTS
Applied Emotional Mastery™ PARENT CONSULTING
Emotional Intelligence is now known to be the most important predictor of happiness and success. As parents we have more influence on our children and their emotional intelligence than anyone else. First and foremost we influence them through how we demonstrate our own level of emotional intelligence. We affect and influence our children on three basic levels:
o Through what we say TO our children
For example:
YOU: “Your behavior makes me sick!”
YOUR CHILD immediately imagines you sick and has feelings of guilt and the beginnings of a negative self-image.
More emotionally intelligent alternative:
YOU: “Your behavior is unacceptable. No-one wants to be around you when you behave that way.”
YOUR CHILD imagines being alone as a result of his behavior and considers the consequences.
o Through what we DO in-front of them (how we live our lives and how we demonstrate what we say – or not!)
For example:
YOU (Dad) ‘puts down’ Mom with wry, critical comments
YOUR SON believe this is the way to treat women
More emotionally intelligent alternative:
YOU (Dad).If a ‘put down’ comment is inadvertently made, it is immediately followed by an apology,(and never repeated).
YOUR SON: believes Mom (and others) deserve an apology when she has been disrespected.
o Through how we FEEL inside, (which they may not see, but will ‘pick up’).
For example:
YOU and your spouse have had a big argument. You are scared and angry, but you put on a brave face to your child, pretending all is well.
YOUR CHILD ‘knows’ you are unhappy but believes you must be telling the truth as you are the adult. So she learns not to trust her own intuitive voice.
More emotionally intelligent alternative:
YOU and your spouse have an argument. You are scared and angry. You tell your child you have had a disagreement, that everyone does sometimes, and it has made you feel a little sad. However, you will find a way to handle it and make yourself feel better. Preferably let your child see you do this.
YOUR CHILD believes it’s safe to disagree. It’s okay to feel bad, and it’s possible to self-soothe and change the way we feel.
o Would you like to be more mindful in your influence on your child?
o Would you like to parent with less stress and more insightfulness?
o Would you like to see the world more from your child’s point of view?
If you answer YES to the above, you may want to consider AEM Parent Consulting &/or Coaching – a scientifically based, non-invasive, private, personal approach to helping you be the emotionally intelligent parent you want to be – and helping your child to develop a high level of EI!
AEM founder and Director Jennifer Day has been coaching and teaching children and their parents for more than thirty years. Specializing in the field of emotional intelligence since the field’s beginnings in the early 1990’s, she has authored/co-authored 4 books for parents. Go to our SHOP page for more information on these books, two of which have been on bestseller lists, and translated into ten languages.
AEM has been the subject of several studies involving parents and children, each time clearly demonstrating its effectiveness.
Sessions are by phone and/or in person, at your convenience, and are of course completely confidential. Accompanying reading material is sent to you via email or mail (your preference). For more information Contact Us.
